Because... most life lessons are learned through pain...

It’s been a year and so many things have changed. I have changed. For the better? That I don’t know. But I know that things are better than how they were back then. I’m more patient, less irritable, more at peace.

I have felt peace like I’ve never felt before. I love it! I no longer think about him. Oh well sometimes I can’t help it. Especially with the recent korean series, City Hunter, that i watched. As a matter of fact I dreamt of him. Funny it is cause in my dream, it seemed like we were a his place and I just arrived from a travel. And yes, in my dream I was the other woman and there was another woman’s shirt on his bed. I woke up and thought what the fuck! Even in my dream, it wasn’t meant to be.
It’s been a year and indeed so much has changed. I no longer miss him. I can still remember when it was all new and I can’t help but cry all the time. I can’t measure the amount of tears that I’ve shed for him. I’m just glad it’s over. However, just last Saturday he called and I had to insult him for him to stop. And somebody asked me if I still love him and my answer was no! Cause I don’t. And I’m glad that I no longer do.

Looking back, I never thought I’d get through this stage when I can finally say that I am good. When I can finally go to places with my head up high. It was a struggle getting here but I made it and I am so proud of myself. He’s not everything to me after all. hahaha

Right now, looking at those who are crying because of a broken heart it pains me. When I hear those who want to end their lives because of what they are going through, it breaks my heart as well. If only I can share all that I have been through o everyone who’s going through the same thing, I would. I want to share a part of me, I want to be their strength. I want to make them feel that there is hope.

If it’s too painful, then don’t hold back the tears. Cry! Cry as hard as you can! Curse, shout! Feel the pain. Don’t hold back any emotions and let it all out. Feel every bit of pain. Enjoy every bit pain. Enjoy every drop of tear. Remember that every pain and every tear is not forever. Remember that one day, you will look back to today and you will laugh at yourself. Not until that day comes, you can embrace sadness and hurt until you just grow tired of it. Trust me, it’s possible. I’ve been there and look at me now.

At this point, I am just thankful for all the blessings, for the happiness. I couldn’t ask for more in this life. If someone new comes along, I just wish that he is someone (korean – PYC or KJJ wahahahha) who would accept me and all that I am, I have and I have not. Someone that I can trust and would trust me in return. Someone that I can talk to, smile with and lean on. Someone who would complement me. Someone that I can call my own and mine alone. I honestly don’t know if this person still exist, but if he does, I just hope that our paths would cross cause I’d really love to meet him and be with him.

Happiness is a choice and life’s how we make it.